piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
