sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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