sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize