i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
