life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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