Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
