I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
