I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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