If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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