Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Come on in and take your pants off
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