I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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