Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize