if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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