There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize