Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
