Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
