dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
