another moral hangover. fuck.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
