There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sponge bath it is.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
