no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
