Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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