If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
