ya dads aren't the best wingmen
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
