I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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