question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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