thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
