I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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