My friends, they love my intelligence
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She bit a glass in half.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
