i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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