well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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