Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
