i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just puked most of my soul out..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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