i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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