I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I looked at my own cervix.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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