...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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