i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize