just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
