I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
