Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
that's an acceptable place to lick
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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