Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
