A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
