my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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