What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
