somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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