i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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