Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Less talking, more tequila
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize