Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
