yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
