She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
