i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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