My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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