He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
