great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize