:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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