I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
