Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize