Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
