I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
