i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
