Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
