The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
