As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He has the fingertips of a God
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