billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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