Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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