remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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