It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
