I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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