I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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