i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
and she was petting her beer can
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
