I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
