What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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