I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Farmville is her only friend.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
