so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize