we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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