You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
